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notalwaysright_feedRead It’s Not Lunch; It’s Theoretical Physics
Customer: "I need half a pound of roast beef. Thinly sliced. Proper thin, not that shredded mess I got last time."
Me: "You got it, just let me know when this looks right."
I start slicing and hold up a piece.
Customer: "No. Thinner than that. I don’t want to chew it."
icanhascheezburger_feedYou haven't truly experienced pawrenthood until you've witnessed the glorious phenomenon known as airplane ears. It's that unmistakable sideways ear flattening that makes your feline look like they're about to taxi down a runway and we're here for every dramatic second.
Whether it's because you made a suspicious noise, introduced a new item into their territory (how dare you bring home a houseplant), or simply walked past them the wrong way, cats will deploy their in-flight mode with full cattitude. These whiskered wonders can turn even the most minor inconvenience into a furst class scandal.
No matter how miffed they look, it's absolutely hissterical. Paired with a puffed-up tail or a judgmental glare, airplane ears are a top-tier cat expression, right up there with loafing and the slow blink of royal approval.
So next time you see your kitty channeling their inner aircraft, just salute your pilot, give them a treat, and back away slowly. Airplane ears might signal a moment of feline drama, but they always land right back in your heart.
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notalwaysright_feedRead Saying No To This Customer Is Gold(fish)
Associate: "They want twenty-four goldfish for party gifts."
I immediately say:
Me: "No."
icanhascheezburger_feedThis son is facing a tough decision about the family cat who's lived with his dad for over 12 years. With his father moving overseas and unable to take her, he's torn between bringing the cat to his small apartment across the country, where she knows him but life is busy, or leaving her with the new family moving into her longtime home.
His place is familiar, but small and shared with a roommate, which might mean less attention. The new family is larger, with kids who seem ready to give her plenty of love and playtime. He worries about how she'll adjust, whether she'll handle leaving the home she's known or thrive in a livelier environment.
It's a tough call, but in the end, sometimes the best home isn't about the size of the space or even who feeds her. It's wherever she feels safe, loved, and cared for.
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icanhascheezburger_feedWhen the sun's blazing and the AC just isn't cutting it, these cool cats are turning to the true hero of summer: ice cream (or at least the cat-safe version). One lick at a time, they're serving serious popsipaw energy.
From slurping tuna-flavored ices to cautiously poking at a melting scoop with their toe beans, these kitties are here to chillax. Some delicately nibble like fancy little fluffballs at a five-star meowgurt bar, while others go full chaos mode, face-first into the frosty treat like it owes them rent.
And let's not forget the dramatic reaction. Wide eyes, scrunched noses, or that one judgmental glare that screams, "Too cold, hooman. Fix it." But even with brain freeze on the horizon, they keep going back for more.
It's hot out there, but these cats aren't sweating it. They're striking a purrfectly cool balance between melting and meowgical. Honestly? Same. Summer may be sizzlin', but with frozen fun and a frosty treat or two, these kitties are keeping it pawsitively chill.
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icanhascheezburger_feedHey there, fellow cat pawrents! How's your Caturday treating you so far? More importantly, how's your cat doing? Are they already deep into the weekend vibe, snuggled up in their favorite nap spot and pretending the world doesn't exist? Because let's be honest - if there's one day made specifically for cats and cat lovers, it's Caturday. It's literally in the name.
If you haven't kicked off your Caturday cuddle session yet, consider this your sign. Go ahead and give your floof a little pspspsps, coax them over to the coziest corner, grab a blanket, and initiate the sacred Weekend Snuggle Ritual™.
Once you're all cozied up and the purring has commenced, it's time for the next level of feline joy: cat memes. Because what goes better with a sleepy, warm cat on your lap than a collection of wholesome, hilarious feline funnies? We gathered these just for you (and maybe for your cat too, if they're awake). But let's be honest - if they're napping, they've already mastered the true spirit of Caturday.
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icanhascheezburger_feedFellow feline fanatic fans, let's play pretend for a second: Caturday is no more (dreadful, we know). It's only a regular Saturday - plain, boring, and catless. You might be in the weekend, but there are no cats around you at all. You wander around the house, yet no curious floofy creature follows you with determination, "mrrp?"ing like they ask you "what'ch doing?". You log online and see no cat memes anywhere, just walls of text (because that's what the internet feels like with no cat memes). Sounds awful, isn't it?
A world with no cats is plain, less cute, and lacking some meowing energy. A Caturday with no cat is just and ol' Saturday - plain and boring. So how do we ensure a cute Caturday overrides the boring Saturday? You surround yourself with as many cats as possible, of course. First of all, give your cat an extra pet and treat from us. And secondly, you might as well fill your conciousness with as many feel-good feline memes as possible, for your Caturday mood-boost.
Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.
notalwaysright_feedRead Preying On Spelling Errors
I'm helping them make some pamphlets for an upcoming religious service, and they've sent me the copy text to go into the design. I spot something and call them back.
Me: "Are you sure this is the final copy?"
Client: "That's what they told me!"
notalwaysright_feedRead This Office Has Black, White, And Increasingly Deep Shades Of Red
When [White Coworker], (smart but fresh from college and still learning the basics) submits something, the manager calls it “smart, fresh, intuitive.”
When [Black Coworker], (five years in the industry, graduated from a prestigious college) submits something, the manager sighs and asks if he’s "sure this is your best."
Read This Office Has Black, White, And Increasingly Deep Shades Of Red
notalwaysright_feedRead When Drinks Need Workflow Charts, Don’t Interrupt The Flow
Customer: "Hey. That guy down there got his drink faster than me!"
Me: "He ordered a beer. You asked for a complicated cocktail."
Customer: "Yeah, but I was here first."
Read When Drinks Need Workflow Charts, Don’t Interrupt The Flow
icanhascheezburger_feedHappy Caturday, cat people! Finally, another week has come to an end, and we are so, so ready to make the best out of it. And by making the best out of it, we mean resting as much as possible, doing only the things that we love to do, and stocking up on as much pawsitivity and good vibes as possible. And that means, of course, starting our weekend with some ameowzing cat content. Lucky for you, we put the best cat content of the week right here in our Caturday Meowgazine.
Here, we bring you the best cat tweets of the week, the funniest cat memes, and the most wholesome cat stories that we could find. Hitting all the important stuff - the smiles, the laughs, and the full hearts - so you truly start your weekend on the right paw and make the best out of every second of this Caturday. Have a purrfect day, everyone, and enjoy!
Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Signal Is Strong, But The Message Is Not Getting Through
Customer: "Yes! I need a phone that never drops signal. Mine lost bars in the elevator at work for five seconds. Unacceptable."
Me: "Every phone can lose signal in an elevator or basement, metal and concrete don't play well with phone signal, even 5G. I can show you models with stronger antennas, but nothing’s perfect."
Customer: "Wrong answer. My buddy’s phone works fine."
Read The Signal Is Strong, But The Message Is Not Getting Through
icanhascheezburger_feedSo many people, for some reason, believe that cats are solitary creatures who don't want anyone in their lives but themselves. But we, as cat owners, know that could not be further from the truth. Cats love their humans, let's start with that, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. And cats love other animals too. Cats and dogs can be best friends, despite all of their differences. Cats and birds can hang out and enjoy each other's company even though one is the other one's prey.
We think the best example of cats being social creatures are actually not house cats though, it's lions. They are known to be social creatures. They need their pack. And this goes for all lions, even ones born a little different, ones that cannot be released into the wild. That is the story of Bonedigger. He was born different, and because of that, being friends with other lions was never really an option. His pack ended up being a unique one but just as amazing.
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icanhascheezburger_feedThere are some things that cats do that are just… so cat-like of them. And no, we are not talking about jumping and napping and eating. We're talking about the things that all cat owners know about and laugh about and simply… accept. It is so very Cat for cats to sit in sinks. We don't know why, but we know that they love doing it. It's so very Cat for cats to steal food off our plates - right in front of our noses and without a hint of shame in them. It is so very Cat for cats to have zoomies in the middle of the night, running around at full speed as if ghosts are chasing them.
These things are just what cats do. And getting into our bags without saying a word - that is also so very Cat of our cats. So, we can't say that we were surprised when we came across this story. But we can say that we laughed. Really hard.
Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.
smbc_comics_feed
Hovertext:
Prediction: in 15 years, nobody under the age of 20 will see why this was supposed to be funny.
notalwaysright_feedRead Endangering The Life Of A Child Is A Bit Stupid
I’m trying to leave the warehouse floor to go to lunch. I see a young guy, who I thought was probably sixteen, with a much younger brother, running down an aisle pushing a flat with two boxes and a young child. The setup is one box on the cart, one box leaning upright between the handles of the cart, and a three-to-four-year-old kid lying on top of the bottom box but under the leaner. Not a good spot. I immediately react.
notalwaysright_feedRead When The Crappy Dad Jokes Are Coming From The Wrong Direction
My son is sending me texts.
Son: *Poop emoji.*
Me: "Yes?"
Son: *Poop emoji.*
Me: "Okay?"
Read When The Crappy Dad Jokes Are Coming From The Wrong Direction
icanhascheezburger_feedSummer and winter are purrticularly tough seasons for stray cats, for obvious reasons. We're extra worried about all the little fur babies out there trying to survive in this heat when we can barely handle it in our cool, air-conditioned houses. So, if you see a cat hiding underneath a car in the summer, please, please bring it inside and give it some water. The CDS doesn't take any days off, so if you see a cat hiding underneath a car avoiding the heat, congratulations! You've been presented with a purrfect new addition to your fluffy friends.
That's exactly what happened in the story below. Some cat parents found this sweet orange kitty trying to escape the Texas heat. And, just like all single-brain-celled cats, he walked right up to them without any hesitation and chose them as his pawrents. Poor guy was missing fur, had oil stains and a cough, but through their love, they got him healed up and now he's a loving member of their feline family!
Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.
notalwaysright_feed - It’s Not Lunch; It’s Theoretical Physicsicanhascheezburger_feed - 24 Pictures of Feline Flyers with Airplane Ears Ready for Takeoffnotalwaysright_feed - Saying No To This Customer Is Gold(fish)icanhascheezburger_feed - 'I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning her': A dad's move sparks son's dilemma about taking theiricanhascheezburger_feed - 22 Pictures of Purrfectly Chill Cats Conquering Summer Heat, One Catsicle at a Timeicanhascheezburger_feed - Caturday Cuteness Made of 23 Aww-Inducing Cat Memes to Warm Your Hearticanhascheezburger_feed - 22 Feel-Good Feline Memes for Your Caturday Mood-Boostnotalwaysright_feed - Preying On Spelling Errorsnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - This Office Has Black, White, And Increasingly Deep Shades Of Rednotalwaysright_feed - When Drinks Need Workflow Charts, Don’t Interrupt The Flowicanhascheezburger_feed - Your Weekly Caturday Meowgazine: 20 Most Iconic 'I Can Has Meowments' From Silliest to Sincerely Sounotalwaysright_feed - The Signal Is Strong, But The Message Is Not Getting Throughicanhascheezburger_feed - Lion cub born with a rare disorder and cannot be released into the wild gets paired up with a tiny dicanhascheezburger_feed - Man on a trip finds a random cat inside his bag, calls his wife and daughter, who are meanwhile looksmbc_comics_feed - Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Annihilatenotalwaysright_feed - Endangering The Life Of A Child Is A Bit Stupidnotalwaysright_feed - When The Crappy Dad Jokes Are Coming From The Wrong Directionicanhascheezburger_feed - “He came right up to us and chose us as his humans”: Cat parents save orange cat hiding from the Texicanhascheezburger_feed - The cat knows the way![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timeasmymeasure
